Ode to a Wildgoose

The beauty of words......

2005-05-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

With the new OS tiger software installed on my eMac I have the pleasure of receiving a 'word of the day' every day.

Wednesday's word was particularly great. It was even accompanied by a fantastic quote : )

GORGONIZE
- To paralyze, petrify, or hypnotize.

"Gorgonised me from head to foot
With a stony British stare."
Alfred, Lord Tennyson; Maud; 1855.

Provision

2005-05-04T09:56:00.000-07:00

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."
-- C.S. Lewis

For the past week or so, well probably nearer two weeks, my car has been smitten with a rather unfortunate rattling sound. Clearly a sound such as this can never bring comfort to any driver but only serve as a warning that something may indeed fall off the car if it doesn't get fixed.

So I finally took my car to the mechanic yesterday to repair the dreadful noise. Went to pick it up today and didn't have to pay a thing! I just looked at the guy and said "are you serious" ??? Normally people find any excuse to charge you for the smallest thing.

It's so easy for me to take care of me, I'm very good at it.....thanks for reminding me God that love is bigger than my expectations..........

To drive or not to drive......

2005-04-28T05:49:00.000-07:00

Seeing as so many of you know about my little driving foibles, I have to come clean and share with you the most recent driving incident : )

So, I'm out shopping with my very good friend Gillian - Yorkdale I hasten to add, which definitely has to be the best mall in Toronto (as much as i don't really like malls, this one is now like the super mall because it has so many new European shops.....thank you Jesus : ) ). Anyway, I digress. So, we're leaving the mall heading towards the 401, myself being extremely confident in my ability to get back to my house from Yorkdale but not so confident in finding my way to Gillians house (Gillian always seems to be with me when we get into these driving disasters and I might point out that she was also present when we got lost and a forty minute journey turned into a four hour journey.....yes, it's true, I've broken off the shame of it all!!) - Gillian was even less confident than I which did not bode well for our journey : ) So we end-up heading East only to find that we should have gone West - this is where the fun starts! We're a tad lost - not too lost, but bearing in mind our past experience we decide to take the bold step in asking a fellow-driver for directions. So I pull up to this car at the traffic light and Gillian asks him how we get back to the 401. The driver ends up being a really sweet old man who says "follow me" - I think we made his day actually : ) We end up following him in his car for ten minutes.....(how embarrasing) whilst trying not to completely lose it and wondering why it is that we ALWAYS seem to get ourselves into these situations. The worst is yet to come.......
So we see the exit ramp for the 401 straight ahead, at which point we decide to wave to the nice old man, thanking him for being our knight in shining armour and saving us from the perils of being lost at the mercy of the GTA. So we're waving frantically and I mean frantically, and in our zealousness to get on the 401 we actually turn right, no not onto the 401 on-ramp but straight into a car park!!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!! It was awful but ridiculously funny at the same time, I felt like some airhead from a horrible Lesley Neilson movie or a pre-Pierce Brosnan Bond girl with no brains (Sean Connery and Roger Moore were around at the time when women didn't have brains : ) : ) ...or so they thought).......
So, after recovering in the car park, desperately trying not to pee my pants because I was laughing so much, we finally made it onto the real 401 on-ramp and happily made our way home : )

Disappear - Jars of Clay

2005-04-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

Why have I never heard this song before? I found it totally by accident while I was listening to J-Lo's itunes - thanxs J-Lo. It's such a beautiful song, it deserves a post.

I watch you smile, you steal the show.
You take a bow, the curtain falls in front of you.
You're magical, on display.
I gaze into your eyes and, you turn to look the other way.

But I'd really love to know.
I'd really love to climb my way into your heart and see what I could find.
I'd walk into your skin, swim through your veins.
See it from your eyes.
Cause I'd really love to try, yeah.

Standing still but in my mind trying to escape.
Looking for a place to hide.
It's not safe but I'm so near.
Invading every place you go to disappear.

I'd really love to know.
I'd really love to climb my way into your heart and see what I could find.
I'd walk into your skin, swim through your veins.
See it from your eyes.
I'd really love to try.
I'd really love to know.
I'd really wanna to climb into your soul.
Walk into your skin, swim through your veins.
See it from your eyes.
I'd really love to try.
I'd really love to try.

I want to get inside the you you're hiding from.
I want to get inside the you you're hiding from.
I want to get inside the you that you are hiding from.

The making of genius

2005-04-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius."
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

It’s so true – all of our great successes are founded in love. It’s easy to spend so much time running around trying to figure out what we’re good at, even striving to improve on what we already have; a beautiful imagination, an incredible talent. The best thing that we can do is pursue love. That’s where all of our success, all of our genius comes from.
I know I’m crap without love, it’s when I stay grounded in Him, that’s when I fly…….

: )

2005-04-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

It's come to my attention that I have a problem : ) Before you all comment and respond to this statement I suggest that you finish reading the rest of this post : ) eh hem!

No, it's not the fact that I use way too many smiley faces when writing my posts or comments....however, I have recently realized that I seriously over-use the smiley face.....but hey, I'm a BIG communicator and I like to make it known that I'm either joking or happy about something, it adds emphasis ; ) anyway, maybe I do need to be more tasteful with their usage....it's so difficult tho.

Back to the problem! It has come to my attention that I'm lacking in directional awareness. You might be wondering what the heck I'm talking about but my problem is the fact that I ALWAYS seem to go the wrong way. ALWAYS. and I'm not talking about driving either! For example, whenever I'm in the mall leaving a store, I always seem to go in the opposite direction of where I'm intending on going. This was highlighted to me today as I was out with my friend Linda on a trip to our friendly local tax office. On leaving the building I instantly headed off blissfully in the wrong direction, much to the amusement of my friend. I did consider the possibility that maybe it's because I'm left-handed, maybe I always end-up going left (I know, I was desperate for an answer) , but no, there's no consistency to my problem....We did consider attaching a tazor to my body, y'know like Skinner's rats, condition them and give them a zap when they're behaving a certain way, so they'll learn not to continue with that pattern of behaviour....was that Skinner's rats? I can't remember. Skinner definately did experiment with rats though.

Anyway, i'm babbling.

True Colours

2005-04-04T14:03:00.000-07:00

“I see your true colours shining through.
I see your true colours and that’s why I love you,
So don’t be afraid to let them show,
Your true colours, true colours are beautiful, like a rainbow”…….

I love these lyrics.

Sometimes it’s our biggest ‘failures’, the things that we’ve been led to believe are shameful, or make us unworthy, inadequate…it’s those very things that God will use to glorify himself and make his name great. It’s those very parts of ourselves which are beautiful to God, that often become the source of our biggest successes, our biggest victories, our greatest triumphs…………we have all been created for greatness and our God is into creating masterpieces. He doesn’t create failures, it’s not in his nature.

More Freshwind

2005-03-31T10:09:00.000-08:00

"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19

Friday was a good day. One of those days where you feel so happy on the inside that it shows all over and you just can't stop smiling : ) I wanted to bottle that moment and keep it somewhere just to remind me how precious and incredible it was. I think I had perma-grin for several days afterwards.

So yeah, Freshwind was absolutely awesome! It was incredible to see everyone worshipping, it just blew me away! THANK YOU GOD!!

I almost feel like this happened to someone else, because it exceeded my wildest expectations. Or maybe that's because my warped view of God is being challenged to the core. (isn't it funny, you come so far only to find that you still need more work : ) ) Yeah, I still have trouble believing that God is good sometimes (I mean, REALLY good : ) like, your wildest, deepest, most secret dreams good ). So, I was well and truly challenged, particularly because I didn't think that I would make it to Friday at one point, I was so sick. God, you are so faithful, despite all of me : ) : )

"And the people came together and the people came to dance and they danced like a wave upon the sea."

FW 05

2005-03-22T05:44:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that we've been waiting for this all year. Actually some of us have been dreaming about this for a long time, well daring to dream but with eyes tightly closed, a little bit afraid that what we're dreaming of is just way too big.

It's been a crazy ride getting to this point, getting to where we're actually ready but I feel like we're finally here, as ready as we'll ever be. I just want to get out there and worship my heart out!! : ) I'm a tad excited!! I'm so priviledged and honored to be part of such an amazing team of people, it's a really humbling thing and I can't stop thinking "Lord, who am I that you would choose me." - that's the grace and foolishness of the Kingdom of God for you : )

The amazing thing in all of this though is that I've been reminded; once you start to deal with fear, trust God and take risks, it gives Him (God) the opportunity to show you who he really is: an amazing, incredible, loving, kind, generous, trustworthy father, who loves to give good things (maybe not always when you think they should happen : ) ) It's at that point that all of my dreams which seem impossible become insignificant because God shows me that he has so much more for me than I ever imagined.

Dare to Dream......

So, just in case you're wondering what on earth I'm rambling on about, we're leading worship at Freshwind on Friday!

Mountain Climbing

2005-03-11T11:42:00.000-08:00

“ Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. ”- Deuteronomy 7:9

I love the way that God gives you those timely reminders : )

Just had the most challenging week that I've had in a while. Yes, I am known for exaggeration, but seriously it can only be compared to eating raw salted fish (for me, that's REALLY BAD, I nearly had to eat it when I visited Ukraine) Anyway, the reason for this weeks particular 'badness', I've started to aggressively tackle some of my worst fears, thought I was going to throw up several times in the process but I have survived, I think, I'm still in one piece, although I do still have several hours to go until the weekend.

So yeah, I've been doing some major mountain climbing, just not the kind of mountains that you'd think : )

Sarah Dailey, you and I should definately get together and write this manual babe : )
Mountain Climbing meets Risky Diving : )

Rugby

2005-03-08T06:03:00.000-08:00

One of our National Sports, kind of crazy, but so much fun to watch, especially with a bunch of friends in a rowdy Edinburgh pub. There was always plenty of fun to be had especially when Scotland kicked butt with the England team (well, actually it was usually the other way around and sadly half of my best friends were and still are English : ) )

The reason for this trip down memory lane, It's that time of year again when the 'six nations' compete for the Rugby Union cup, the six nations being; Scotland, England, Ireland, Wales, Italy and France. And I'm feeling kind of patriotic and nostalgic, having just been back to Britain.

By the way, Scotland beat Italy at the weekend!! Woo Hoo!!

The Power of Choice

2005-03-07T14:06:00.000-08:00

"The magic moment is that in which a 'yes' or a 'no' may change the whole of our existence......"

- Paulo Coelho

Beer

2005-03-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

: ) smile....I love beer.

I had this fabulous Belgian beer on Saturday, curteousy of my brother Graeme, it's called Leffe - twas a taste sensation.

Did I mention that I love drinking beer in British pubs : ) My little slice of paradise.

The only unfortunate thing about being back here is that I seem to have lost my identity, even my own people think that I'm Irish. Please pray for me : )

London Calling

2005-02-27T03:32:00.000-08:00

No longer am I a stranger in a strange land!

I love London!

The buzz of life that makes me feel alive, familiar faces (British people just look British), familiar signs everywhere I look, crazy people talking to themselves, the promise of galaxy chocolate or even dairy milk, thick accents (ah, i could listen for hours) and the simple fact that there's just sooo much to do here! Even the man that sat just a bit too close to me as I travelled on the tube yesterday brought a smile to my face : ) I love it here : )

P.S Toronto rocks, but there's no place like home......................

More things I love about London;
PUBS!!
Marks and Spencers
Covent Garden
Topshop : )(my faithful friend Mark just reminded me...how could I forget)
Beer
Red Buses
Phone Booths.............awwwwww, I want one of them.
I'm sure there are more things that I've forgotten..........

Shaun of the dead

2005-02-22T14:00:00.000-08:00

I love this movie!

You have to check out this movie, I love it! Didn't think I would like it but loved it!

Intention

2005-02-22T07:28:00.000-08:00

Intention; A course of action that one intends to follow. An aim that guides action; an objective.

What's my intention, where am I going? I can have passion and zeal and love but without intention what kind of message am I communicating. It's about making a choice, going the extra mile. Not just loving with your heart but with your hands, your time, your life......'an aim that guides action'.......I want to live like that.

Run baby run...

2005-02-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about love and free-will and the fact that love is releasing. I'd never really thought about what that meant before.

I know that God is awesome, he's a loving Father, but have never quite understood that his love is releasing. Love is not about control, even for God, the maker of the universe. Even for God, who is outside of time, for God who puts the stars in their place, he is not controlling and loves us with a love that empowers us to make choices, releases us to make choices even if those choices are not the choices that he would like us to make.

His love for us is more important to him than his will for us. Although his perfect love does and should compel us to follow his will.

I love the fact that he released Jonah to run off the other way, even though he was running from what God had for him.

......so I ponder.......

Sleep deprivation and TMI

2005-02-10T06:41:00.000-08:00

If only it were Friday.

After a crazy couple of sleep-deprived days I think I may have finally lost it!

Tuesday night was the night from HELL in women speak! The evil wave rode in with avengence!! Let me just say, women of the world, I have a new level of respect for those of you that have to deal with this EVERY MONTH!!!
So, on Tuesday I slept for maybe three hours......for those of you that know me, I get really grumpy if I don't have enough sleep.

Wednesday night, I was babysitting. It was great, I love kids and these two girls are particularly cute, but needless to say it took me two hours to make the journey to their house. A journey which should have taken forty minutes. On the way home traffic was great but my driving ability was somewhat hampered by my inability to see through the windshield, due to the fact that my wiper-fluid thingy was blocked! No, it had nothing to do with the fact that I was tired : ) I tend to do strange things when I combine driving, tiredness and myself : ) ............like the time it took myself and two of my girlfriends three hours to get home, when it should have taken us forty minutes - that's a story for another day.

So anyway, this morning I'm really, really tired, still having major computer problems at work and in the midst of all this manage to give out my home telephone number to a business contact, instead of my work number ; ( Yes, they did call me back, AT HOME, waking up my roommate on her day off : ( and now I do look like an airhead! : )

But every cloud has a silver lining and I am saved by the bright shining light of the STARBUCKS sign that is proudly displayed in the cafe at work! WOO HOO! STARBUCKS coffee on the house, everyday........I am blessed!!

Story People

2005-02-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

I LOVE this quote, it's so true! But why is it so hard sometimes? : )

If you hold on to the handle, she said, it's easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you.
-Brian Andreas

He Wishes For The Cloths of Heaven

2005-02-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.